I live in Devon, England; a beautiful place and I feel lucky to be here. I work as a dog trainer, dog walker and also make and sell dog accessories. In the past I have done a lot of work with children, working in primary schools and nurseries. I found working with children very rewarding, but dogs have stolen my heart and working with them each day is a pleasure. Even on the coldest, wettest day I’d still rather be out walking then cooped up inside working.
I have aphantasia, the inability to visualise. I’m unable to picture anything in my minds eye. Instead my mind works similarly to a book, I paint a ‘picture’ in my head with words, but am unable to actually visualise or relive my memories.
Despite this, I’m a pretty creative person. I enjoy arts and crafts and love to read and write.
In November 2014 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. So far I’ve been very lucky and while I’ve had some ups and downs in the past since my diagnosis and start on medication I’ve had very little interference from MS. I think it makes me appreciate everything a little bit more though, I know that in the future I may not be able to do everything I do now. I enjoy life and try to make the most of everything. That doesn’t mean I’m compelled to go off and do crazy things. I’m quite happy with a nice walk through the woods, playing with my dog or cuddling up on the sofa with my partner in the evenings.
I’m a feline cladotherian, meaning I identify as all types of feline.
Despite that, I feel as though my identity is very singular. I believe each type of feline has left some sort of imprint on my soul, mixing and blending together with one another to create a singular feline identity that takes aspects from many different cats. Some species are more prominent, the strongest being amur leopard, but each plays a part in making up the whole.
My beliefs about my therianthropy are a mix of spiritual and neurological. I feel as though both may play a part in shaping my feline identity.
I’m contherian, meaning I do not shift at all. My phantoms and mindset are constant and unchanging. I have phantom ears, muzzle, whiskers, teeth, fur running down from my head over my back and shoulders and a faint hint of paws and tail. My mindset and self-image are also partly feline.
While my understanding of myself and my therianthropy has changed over time, my feline self identity has been a constant as far back as I can remember.
I’ve been a member of the online therianthropy community since 2000, my first online ‘home’ being therianthropy.org’s Awereness Forums (no longer in existence). Over the years I’ve ventured into various other places within the online community, but mainly watch and read rather than take an active part. Currently I’m only regularly posting on one forum, Kinmunity.
When I was little I made an imaginary friend, without realising what I was doing. He was a red panda named Torahmi (Tor for short) and became my companion. As I grew, Tor stayed with me as my voice of reason. Someone I could talk to and bounce ideas off, someone who offered advice, encouragement and companionship. I knew he was something I’d created, but he grew to be very independant and have a mind of his own.
In 2013 I stumbled on the daemon community and found a group of people creating companions similar to Tor. So, finally I had a name to describe what he was. Since then I’ve found other terms for similar things such as tulpa and thoughtform, but daemon being the first term we stumbled on, it’s what we tend to use the most.
Currently Tor takes the form of an american pine marten.
I feel a strong bond and connection with wolves. Something about them just draws me in, links us. Wolves are my favorite animals, but it goes deeper then that. I feel as though I have some sort of spiritual link with wolves, the connection and bond is extremely strong and I feel more connected to wolves/canines then I do felines despite my identity. The term wolfhearted probably fits me.
Horse would be my power animal, I often draw on horse to give me strength, energy and determination.
I also have connections with some sort of bird, a type of hawk I think. I’ve not managed to narrow it down yet, or pinpoint exactly what my connection to this animal is. I often have a pair of wings from this bird, which appear white in colour (though I feel the colouring may be symbolic and not representative of the actual birds colour).
I believe in reincarnation, as I feel I have lived many feline lives before this one. I’m not sure why I am human now, I don’t particularly feel there is a reason. Perhaps I’d just been cat for so long it was time for a change.
I don’t have a religion and don’t believe in any sort of god. I do believe in a universal consciousness, a joining of souls between incarnations that share knowledge and, at times, offer guidance.